It Takes a Village

We've all heard the African proverb, "It takes a Village to Raise a Child.". I would propose that it takes a village to travel all of life's journeys, not just child-rearing.

Not long ago a friend of mine needed to undergo a fairly major surgery. This meant she would be out of normal commission for six weeks, unable to lift her toddler or romp with her preschooler or drive her older children to and from school. The average woman, I imagine, would feel a little panicky as how to juggle these limitations, but not so my friend. She wasn't phased. She is part of a village, and she knew her village would see her through. Sure enough, before coming home from the hospital, a meal schedule was being assembled and childcare volunteers were lining up to take turns helping with the two little ones.

It wasn't long until my friend was back on her feet, offering to make a meal and watch the children of another family from our village who was recently effected by a serious illness. This member of our village, although fairly new to our community, is being visited by near strangers with offers to do laundry or run to the grocery store or bring a meal.

This is "village life" and I wouldn't want it any other way. In my village, we intertwine our lives closely. We watch one another's children when we have doctor appointments. We visit each other in the hospital. We make sure a new mother has meals delivered to her door. We pass along our gently-used clothing. We take time to listen and laugh around beers or at coffee shops or at the dinner table. And when someone falls on hard times, we may cover a mortgage payment or pass on an anonymous cash gift. When another is left broken-hearted by their spouse, we lend our ears, our hearts, our time, and our favorite family therapists. In essence, we weave a safey basket around one another. Our lives are made stronger by the presence of each other, just as a tightly woven basket can carry a large bushel of apples.

I imagine wherever in Africa this saying derived, dependence on a community was essential for survival. Though I don't know many people who are trying to physically survive, I look around me and see many a person desperately trying to survive the emotional and spiritual landscapes around them. But so many lack a "village"! After all, isn't the American Dream realized by rugged individualism, pulling oneself up with one's bootstraps and forging ahead through life's wilderness with hardly a shrared cup of water?

I, for one, don't believe life was intended to live this way. I prefer the village way of life, practiced by my African brothers and sisters and by the first followers of Jesus and by whomever else lucky enough to find a community who accepts and supports them. Perhaps this individualistic approach to life is one reason why so many Americans are on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. I, too, would feel lonely and afraid if wondering a wilderness on my own.

I learned yesterday of a friend outside my village who is going through a heartbreaking circumstance that will require some major survival techniques. I do not know if she is surrounded by a village. Many of the commenters on her Facebook page offered their prayers and generic offers of "let me know if you need anything." Well, I am certain this friend is going to need a lot! She will need listening ears, encouraging notes, babysitters, and much more. I hope to treat her like a village member, not waiting for her to ask for favors.

What about you? Have you been lucky enough to have found a village, too?